In podcast episode number #15, I focus on why it is important that we humans invest in ourselves - and why we often forget it!
Because if you're like most people, you've probably also had periods where you forgot to prioritize and remember yourself? Maybe for shorter or longer periods. Either way, you've most likely felt the consequence as well.
When we forget to invest in ourselves; in body, mind and spirit, it is often expressed by us forgetting that the very basic and basic things are important to us in order for us to thrive. But because many are so focused on the practicalities of life and the drumbeat of everyday life and everyone else who expects something from us; family, children, friends, work etc., we often forget ourselves. We forget that we have to nourish ourselves with good and healthy food, plenty of water, sleep, peace, time in nature and all these other small and big things that are important to each of us. For example, cozying up with a good book, or maybe it's a trip to the golf course every Sunday, or maybe it's self-loving and nice to take the time to go to the hairdresser or book a massage, because for the third month in a row, you're in pain the shoulders.
Because if we forget - or for other reasons, fail to - invest in ourselves, then it is felt. For some it is felt physically, psychologically, spiritually or in some other way. But no matter what, it is important for us humans to remember to prioritize ourselves. We are allowed to be 'selfish' and remember ourselves. We must also remember ourselves before we remember everyone else. We must take care of ourselves before we take care of everyone else. We must say yes to ourselves before we say yes to everyone else. But the problem for many is that it is difficult and that we are driven so far away from our own 'selfish' needs (which are not selfish at all, but it often feels that way) that we run on the pumps. That we get sick. That we are chronically tired or exhausted. That we have a short fuse. That we don't take care of our health - physically and mentally.
We simply forget ourselves and our own needs because we are often in a hurry to please and take care of everyone else's needs before our own. And yes, there are definitely times when it makes sense and is necessary. If you are a new mother or father, there are some needs from a little new soul that are more important. If a family member is near death and needs you, yes, that is also more important. And there is nothing wrong with periodically being there for others. The problem arises, however, when we almost by definition forget ourselves and are not there for ourselves.
"Then start checking in with yourself, maybe daily or weekly, what your needs are"
So start checking in with yourself, maybe daily or weekly, what your needs are. It may change from day to day, week to week or month to month. So make it a habit to ask yourself what you need. What you feel like... and then start acting on it.
Every week I have a new little to-do list, where every week I write a few things on which I want to focus and which are my needs. Sometimes it's a 30-minute walk, other times a foot bath or some other 'selfcare', sometimes it's fitness in front of the computer screen. Sometimes it also involves cutting things off and things you can refrain from doing, rather than always having to do something. For example, not watching the news before bed, or not eating sugar or drinking too much coffee. Small things here and there, which are nourishing, self-loving and uplifting, are what we want to enjoy focusing on and prioritizing in our lives. Because when we fill up our own cup, well then we also have the energy to fill up the cup of others who need it and for us.
So having a little to-do list every week is one way to do that. There are many ways to prioritize ourselves and be more self-loving. The talented Tony Robbins is also in favor of setting some big and small goals in life, and he believes that if we are to be successful with it, it must be 'SMART'.
S - Specific (Specific)
M - Measurable
A - Achievable (Achievable)
R - Realistic
T - Time horizon (Timeframe)
In this way, he believes, we have a greater probability of achieving our goals. Whether they are big or small, whether it is a long-term or short-term goal (e.g. a weekly to-do list), is sort of secondary. But he believes that we need to make sure that our goals follow this SMART model so that we achieve success and are not weighed down by 'failure' or when things don't go quite as hoped. We are all familiar with our New Year's resolutions, which often fall apart after a relatively few days or weeks. And with this model, we get the opportunity to reflect a little on why we want to achieve a certain goal, what the underlying reason is and how we want to achieve it and when.
If you want to know more about the importance of investing in yourself, listen to podcast episode 15, right here
